Growth in God
This will be designed to both instruct, encourage, correct and challenge the average Christian believer to help achieve several things by the end.
- Seek Direction - Calling and Destiny in God
- Gain Vision and Purpose - If you don't already have that
- Gain Understanding and Guidance from God and the Bible on what steps to take
- Build - Reinforce - Redirect Habits to a structured daily and weekly course of study
Set Goals - Short Term and Long Term for several things
Bible Study
Personal Time With God - both inside and outside of times set aside for that
Organizing priorities and Directing your steps with a Goal in Mind.
Introduction -
With every single new convert and each new person that steps foot into a church and walks down the aisle to make Jesus the Lord of their life - comes responsibility on other believers around them - at a minimum to encourage and fellowship and friendship with them to keep them interested in God.
There is with every Christian - New or Old a potential to backslide, cool off, get comfortable and complacent about the things of God.
It is with each of these new converts that I see a reflection and memory for myself to review where I am at now compared to there and how I can keep or rekindle some aspect of the zeal and hunger they have.
A New Christian is someone that found the Reality and Truth and Life that is in Christ Jesus - They can nearly hear heaven cheering them on when they accept Him… an older Christian owes it to themselves to recognize that yes the excitement and overzealous zeal may fade… but our passion, drive, and hunger for more of God should not.
The best way to get back to that place - or keep yourself driving forward is in fact through study, personal prayer time with God, and eat every bit of good teaching you can till your stuffed. And One Step Further - Draw on what you know to share it with others in some aspect or another.
Create a well you can draw from - then draw from it!
You cannot breath in unless you breath out - you can't breath out unless you breath in.
Take this example and learn a basic principle - a lot of churches in the world have some fat - happy - but stagnant Christians. They are so full of the Word they may actually pop from the over-stuffing - they didn't find an outlet for what they are learning - have learned - still have to learn. (Have you ever ran into an older christian and they seem almost cranky?)
Find an outlet of ANY description to use what you learn, either through getting involved more at church, sharing with friends and family, at work (don't get fired) or in some aspect of ministry - even in a serving capacity.
Stephen in the Bible preached one of the most amazing messages of his day to the hardest crowd in the world to preach to.
Just a few days before then he was serving in his church - waiting tables - caring for others. It was not just his actions in serving, but he ministered and shared and fellowship-ed with those people at that time.
He used what he was learning himself in an outworking of everyday ministry and caring and helping in the church as well as imparting those teachings to others that He came in contact with.
The modern day christian goes to church so often they have their names on the chairs practically - but their mouths are shut in most situations and times they could be ministering to other people and putting to practice what they know in their hearts to be true.
There is nothing more useless than a blank dictionary in a spelling competition -
there is nothing more sad than a Christian full of the Word and silent when needed.
If you create a draw on what you already know - you will begin a process of needing to know more and wanting to know more in the Word of God that will begin to keep you in a place of hunger, curiosity, and strength of Faith and Confidence in the Word of God.
Taking this as one of your steps to Growth in God is essential - It will show you where you need to study more - and cause you to stay sharp.
A tool that is made for a specific task that gets rusted and sticky and corroded is useless as a tool. So likewise we need to stay sharp and ready to be used when given a chance.
My father and I worked on my first real car together. It is an old pickup truck that has seen better days. We didn't always have the right tools for the job but my father had a favorite tool that if nothing else worked he could reach for this old set of vice-grips and make nearly anything come unstuck or get something fastened as a result.
God is the same. Sometimes we let Him down when He asks us to do something simple as go to so and so and tell them about Jesus. We become nearly like a rusty tool that doesn't do the job.
We as Christians sometimes marvel at the big names in Church history when we think about the miracles and the revivals and the ministry of some of the so called greats. Yes they may have an office and a ministry in their day... but the same skills are available to us. Perhaps not to the same extent as others but the calling is much the same. What makes the Great Men of God so great? They made themselves available and ready to be used and sought to be used as well.
The bible uses several scriptures to get this point across. 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
Be ready with the Word that is inside you... ready to share it out with others to drive home the point that God was teaching you even so that the others can get the same benefit as you did.
1 Peter 4:10 As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
11If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
When you listen to teaching and preaching - listen - not to parrot it back out again given the chance... cults teach their followers to do that. But gain a revelation of it so much so that it becomes part of your strengths and attributes so that when given the chance to help someone else in that area it comes as a ministration not a matter of fact attitude.
There is nothing worse than thinking your helping someone when your really hurting them or insulting them. I remember one time coming out of a conference in Dublin late one evening. A JW was standing at the gate of the Christian Convention trying to hand out leaflets to those coming out of the event. It was a bit humorous to be honest and a bit sad. They had such a smug look of superiority and self justification on their face when the offered leaflets were rejected, inwardly they must have been thinking that they were right to try to force their ways on others. Christian witness should not be that way... Yet many times I have seen it happen as well. For the record I don't witness like that.
How many times have you seen a Christian with the loudhailer standing on the street corner shouting hell fire and damnation on those that pass by. Were you that person?
Anyway. One time in Galveston Texas after Mardi-Gras parade was over... we were out talking to people and sharing the love of God with others. Then it happened. The one man I was talking to gave me a look of disgust and said... Oh Your with them! Get lost.
I looked over to where he was pointing and sure enough on the street corner - there he was... Mr. Loudhailer... only this time he brought a praise and worship band with him.
Seriously this could not be any more contradictory. The band was singing the praises of God and how Good He was and how wonderful... and the man behind the mic was shouting at everyone saying God hates them. Seriously! I would not make this sort of thing up.
SO - when I say that you need to find a way to draw out the things that you have learned - I mean seriously find a real and genuine way to draw it out. Because if you try to fake it in front of others they will see it. If you learn about how God so loved the World that He gave His only begotten Son that WHOSOEVER believeth on Him should not perish but have everlasting life... and that GOD is not willing that any should perish... WHERE IN THE WORLD do you get that God hates people???
Anyway. Share what you know like you know it and believe it yourself. Show it also in your actions.
One time on the street I was talking to a man who said he believed in God but didn't think that God would or could ever talk to him and have the kind of relationship I talked to him about. Instead of quoting a hundred and one scriptures at him I asked him about his own life. He told me that he was living with his girlfriend and he had a son. At that point it was easy to tell this man about the love of God.
I said to him... "You love your son very much? You would do anything for him wouldn't you. You want the best for him and want to see him grow up safe and strong and prepared for everything this world could throw at him" Of course he agreed "How much more would God - who put those loving and protective attributes in you to have for your son... want that kind of relationship with you."
Anyway - in wrapping up... Know that you have to put something in to be able to draw something out... and seek and be ready for opportunities to draw out from that which God has put inside you... in LOVE.
- Seek Direction - Calling and Destiny in God
Some people have the concept that God is going to ask them to do something strange or dangerous or be sent to some distant land if they ask Him for direction and calling on their lives.
Nonsense. God loves you and wants the best for your life. Simple. Take it to the bank. Now. Think about what you would LOVE to do for God. Think about your interests your hobbies your deepest desire in life. Chances are (if its a righteous desire) that God will give you those desires and sense of fulfillment as well in those areas.
One of my friends in Ireland told me straight one day that he was scared to death that if he asked God what he was meant to do with his life that God was going to send him to deepest darkest Africa or worse. I asked him if he was serious and he told me that he was. I asked him what his dream calling was - what he wanted to do most deep down.
He told me about his music desires and aspirations and said above all else he wanted to minister to others in music and to teach others about using music to praise God.
Years later. Guess what he is doing now?
When you seek God's will for your life - it is not random. It is not against who you are. It is not even against who you want to be. It fits you perfectly and as you go that direction it gives you such a sense of fulfillment that nuclear war would not persuade you to do anything else.
In Seeking Gods will for your life keep in mind that we are talking destination. The final place. In the meanwhile though you have to work and train to get to that destination. Do you think my friend would be where he is now unless he actually KNEW how to play an instrument? There is work involved and steps to take.
This portion is called Seeking Direction. The reason is to get to your destination you will have to do several things.
Ask Where You are Going.
Know where your going.
Go in that direction.
Take steps to correct your course if needed.
Keep an eye on the path your on.
Find someone that is already there and seek leadership and guidance.
Make a plan and take action if you find yourself off your course.
Keep moving and don't build a house along the way miles off your target.
Arrive at your destination and Keep growing!
If a person gets lost in the woods or in the desert you will see several things happen.
The path they think they are walking they think is straight... isn't.
They tend to walk in circles.
If they lean a bit to one side they tend to walk that way.
If they are weak on one side or in an area of their body they tend to over compensate and get off course.
They tend to do the opposite of the things they should do when they have no direction.
Also true. If they have something they can see in the distance they can make their way straighter than if they were just picking a direction at random and trying to walk a straight line towards it.
With this in mind let us examine destiny and purpose.
It is easier to know what you are training for and to build yourself up in certain areas if you know what is coming up.
A tool is most suited for the task and use it was designed for. Its easier to stay sharp as a praise and worship leader and not do silly things like take up a hobby as a sword swallower or something else silly that could cause damage to your throat.
Likewise youth and young Christians will find it easier to say no to things in the world when they know its not part of who they are and what they are about. Knowing your purpose in life is one of the most amazing things in the world. Likewise - when you know your off course... its easier to tell - your inward self tells you.
So... you see the mountain top in the distance and you have no idea how you are going to get there. Start walking anyway.
Start by picking up the knowledge the skills and seek Godly leadership that will help you get to that destination. They won't pick you up and set you down there. But they can certainly assist you in avoiding certain pitfalls they found along the way and help make it easier by sharing their knowledge and experience they have with you along the way.
Psalm 119:104-106 (King James Version)
104Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.
105Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
106I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgments.
Seek Gods wisdom and truth above all else.
- Gain Vision and Purpose - If you don't already have that
In your walk with God and as you seek to know more of Him and get closer to Him in your own relationship... You will grow to know His ways and His voice more and more. In that process you gain a sense of purpose for your life. A tool that does not know what it is made for is useless. But in the right hands that tool made for the job that only the crafter knows... is the most valuable tool at that moment.
There is a concept in the church that is strange and very wrong. Christians sometimes pray that GOD will move and do things for them. Yet its US that God sends to get things done. Then the opposite happens... we think we are the ONLY ones doing it right and there is no one else.
9And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?
10And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
11And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
12And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
13And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?
14And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
15And the LORD said unto him, Go, return on thy way to the wilderness of Damascus: and when thou comest, anoint Hazael to be king over Syria:
16And Jehu the son of Nimshi shalt thou anoint to be king over Israel: and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abelmeholah shalt thou anoint to be prophet in thy room.
17And it shall come to pass, that him that escapeth the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay: and him that escapeth from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha slay.
18Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.
I want you to get a concept in your mind now... think about this... You are God's first choice. You may not be the only one that He has asked to do something. But you are His first choice. He sent YOU. So follow what He tells you to do and put aside all else that may hinder you and do what God asks you to do.
Galatians 5
1Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
Hebrews 12
1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
More to be added in next post -
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Dealing with Offense and Offended People
I have put down the ground work in the previous post at least the basics... about the issues we have to deal with in that sort of situation. In this next section we will be looking at dealing with it in our own hearts and in dealing with others that are offended at you - as well as offering advice (in love) to others that are offended and desire to move passed it.
Ourselves. I have had numerous occasions to become hurt upset offended and so forth... yet I would imagine the person I aspire to be or hope that I am... to not be the type of person that has hate and anger towards others. I mean who in their christian walk does want that sort of thing to hang on to them?
The bible teaches us to use Jesus for our template on our character - our behavior - and our actions... no I will not quote the standard WWJD at you... oops I think I just did.
Sorry - Anyway with that in mind - let us examine ourselves and think of anyone and everyone you have ever met - heard of - dealt with over the course of your life.
Is there anyone in your minds eye you are now beating with a stick or kicking over a cliff? That my friend is the key to spotting the people that have hurt you and you have issue with still.
Joking aside... it may be a regret about how things were left between the two of you - pain and hurt in a small to great way when you think of them or even their name.
That is what your looking for. "Joe..." your saying to your computer now... "How in the world do I deal with that issue, its been years... or I just cant face that person."
The first part is easy, it sounds like a Jedi Mind trick but its more simply called Faith and Forgiveness.
As a christian you have a thing called faith... its a muscle some people seldom use. Well this issue amongst all others will get more workouts dealing with this sort of issue that even believing for most else in your life.
You need to take your faith... and believe by faith that you forgive them. Go to God in your prayer time and ask for help working things out in your heart over the hurt and pain and say "By Faith - I forgive XYZ and the hurt that was caused Right or Wrong. I want to forgive them" If you deal with that every single time you go to God in prayer until you really find that you can forgive them and leave the issue in your mind and have peace about it... then you can truly forgive them and move on.
Forgiveness is not just words.
In my wife's family they have a tradition on dealing with forgiveness, say your sorry even when your not until you mean it... and even if you don't forgive someone right away tell them you forgive them.
I wont lie to you - even in simple cases of something small its difficult to do. Your hurt wants to cling on... My wife has nearly got me trained now... to accept her apology even if I don't want to at that moment and vice-versa of course.
So it may take time and a lot of faith and effort on your part but if you can start working on it... its like the Sycamine tree and its roots - you may have to dig down to sort them out and even turn over that soil a few times to make sure you got it all out... but if you can work on it you will find that it heals... something wonderful grows in its place.
The Un-offendable man...Its possible - just possible that you will learn to deal with these sort of issues early in life so that you end up becoming some sort of abnormal person that goes through life without getting hurt or upset by anyone. Yet it is very unlikely that even if that is your intention that you would succeed for long. People have a knack to rub anyone the wrong way given enough time. But in reflex if you train yourself you will be able to forgive people and move on...
The Pompous man... You have been probably imagining this person in your head the whole time... going around to every person that has ever even looked at him the wrong way and walking up to them - getting right in their face and saying "I forgive you for hurting me and being offensive" walking away while the other person is confused and a little angry. The act of forgiveness is not a blanket license to become Mr. Super Christian in everyones face and going over and telling people that so and so hurt you but you forgive them... then going to the next person and telling them the same thing... So and So hurt me but I forgive them.
That is not forgiveness that is spreading hurt and offense under the guise of forgiveness. IF YOU ARE A TRUE CHRISTIAN YOU WOULD NEVER EVEN MENTION TO ANOTHER ABOUT THE HURT AND OFFENSE SOMEONE CAUSED YOU IF YOU TRULY FORGIVE THEM. Sorry for shouting but seriously. Stop the pious Christian act and using forgiveness as a cover story for running around to everyone and vomiting on them your bile.
Proverbs 17:9 (King James Version)
9He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
Proverbs 17:9 (Amplified Bible)
9He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
This is YOUR subject covered here... this is your example and help if you just pay attention.
To COVER a transgression is a Godly trait. to COVER IT.... COVER. It means to hide it - not to tell anyone else - work on it forgive it and forget it. COVER IT.
An offense or hurt right or wrong is a matter FIRST between you and God. You have to deal with it to even keep your relationship with God right. Secondly between you and the person that hurt you right or wrong. Go to them and talk to them if you so desire and need to (IF YOU DON'T NEED TO GO TO THEM EVEN BETTER) forgiveness can be done long distances and great gaps of time apart from the issues and people involved... if its real forgiveness.
Thirdly between you and your heart... forgive this person deep down so much that the next time you see them your more likely to bless them with a gift - a car - money - because you love them in your heart so much that you even want to show your outward man that you truly forgave them.
Lastly - in your mind forgive them. Do your best to forget even what was the cause or slight that made the offense happen in the first place. Cast Your Cares Upon the Lord. Cast away your thoughts of the hurt and offense and bitterness and think on good things about the person - think on ways you can move passed everything. Then and only then can you move on with your relationship with God and others.
"Some things are unforgivable." Really?!? Seriously?!!?
Jesus bore every sickness and sin on His body for your sake and you can't forgive someone for forgetting to say hello to you? Or forgetting to give you a card? You honestly can't get passed something someone said to you in love that you took for judgment against you?
Grow up.
If God who forgave the ultimate amount of offenses and transgressions against anyone EVER... can forgive us of our sins how much more so should we forgive others that hurt us... AND MEAN IT!!!
You baby. You infant. You simple minded fool. How arrogant are you to not be able to forgive any transgression against you by anyone else ever??
There are people in modern day ministry that were raped, molested, sold into prostitution, sold into slavery, and worse... that forgave people that hurt them and have the testimony of a fruitful life of serving God to back it up. They may share briefly where they came from but they use that to help others and bring them to the saving knowledge of God and His forgiveness. They do not go around repeatedly rehashing the crime or offense against them and their life like a broken record even in the guise of forgiving the people involved.
Worse yet - there are people that are so called christians that did these sort of things while wearing the name of a religion while they did unspeakable things to others. Do not hear me the wrong way. I wish that those sort of people were rounded up and burned alive on public display. Yet for you and your own growth and to get passed the injury you have to forgive them.
You did hear about the tribe of cannibals that ATE the christian missionary - then generations later they contacted the family of the missionary and asked for forgiveness from them because they wanted to move forward passed the major hurt they caused them.
If you forgive someone that hurt you - and they may have even hurt you on purpose. It gives you the grace to move on and not look back while they remain bitter and spiteful.
Now. I am talking to you now. You there reading this page by accident but curiosity took over and you can even feel the offense and hurt justified or not that someone else caused you. You do not own that hurt. Its not yours. It belongs to Jesus. You have to let it go and let God start dealing with you on how to move passed it.
Jesus bore our sickness and disease and was bruised for our transgressions... and by His stripes we are healed. That price was paid not only for our price we owed God - but one another. We were already sinners, what is a transgression? A hurt or offense caused by someone you trust. They transgressed passed a line. They crossed a boundary.
A sinner is on the unforgivable side already - yet God forgave them. The transgressions are for the things we do even after getting salvation. Offenses towards God and each other.
Isaiah 53:1Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
2For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
11He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
12Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Let it go. Correct your behavior in the eyes and sight of others if you have used forgiveness as a blanket excuse to slander or spread hurt and offense in the ears of others. Then tell yourself that you want to by faith forgive the hurt done to you and grow up... move on. Get on with the things you have to do in life.
Then and only then will you be able to fulfill all that is in your lifetime to achieve.
The test may come suddenly one day when you run into that person. Or someone mentions that name or even the event. And if you can look them in the eye and say " I handled that situation all wrong. What happened hurt me because I took it the wrong way and I abused that hurt and spread it to others. Forgive me for what I did." Or better yet. If you can face them and smile with a genuine smile and shake their hand and not for a second remember even what it was that you were ever upset about because you dealt with it years ago then you can see now that you did forgive them honestly and truly.
If not...
Some young eager christian moving to a new country to do mission work will meet you on the train, chat and share about the amazing things God is doing in the world... and if they mention the place of hurt and bitterness in innocence to you... and you vomit and spew offense and anger all over him about it... its a good sign that you did not forgive. Perhaps then you need to start again with the first post.
To a point this post is not about anything specific or anyone specific. But I felt that I needed to write this out just in case someone somewhere may happen upon it and need this issue dealt with to some degree.
Ourselves. I have had numerous occasions to become hurt upset offended and so forth... yet I would imagine the person I aspire to be or hope that I am... to not be the type of person that has hate and anger towards others. I mean who in their christian walk does want that sort of thing to hang on to them?
The bible teaches us to use Jesus for our template on our character - our behavior - and our actions... no I will not quote the standard WWJD at you... oops I think I just did.
Sorry - Anyway with that in mind - let us examine ourselves and think of anyone and everyone you have ever met - heard of - dealt with over the course of your life.
Is there anyone in your minds eye you are now beating with a stick or kicking over a cliff? That my friend is the key to spotting the people that have hurt you and you have issue with still.
Joking aside... it may be a regret about how things were left between the two of you - pain and hurt in a small to great way when you think of them or even their name.
That is what your looking for. "Joe..." your saying to your computer now... "How in the world do I deal with that issue, its been years... or I just cant face that person."
The first part is easy, it sounds like a Jedi Mind trick but its more simply called Faith and Forgiveness.
As a christian you have a thing called faith... its a muscle some people seldom use. Well this issue amongst all others will get more workouts dealing with this sort of issue that even believing for most else in your life.
You need to take your faith... and believe by faith that you forgive them. Go to God in your prayer time and ask for help working things out in your heart over the hurt and pain and say "By Faith - I forgive XYZ and the hurt that was caused Right or Wrong. I want to forgive them" If you deal with that every single time you go to God in prayer until you really find that you can forgive them and leave the issue in your mind and have peace about it... then you can truly forgive them and move on.
Forgiveness is not just words.
In my wife's family they have a tradition on dealing with forgiveness, say your sorry even when your not until you mean it... and even if you don't forgive someone right away tell them you forgive them.
I wont lie to you - even in simple cases of something small its difficult to do. Your hurt wants to cling on... My wife has nearly got me trained now... to accept her apology even if I don't want to at that moment and vice-versa of course.
So it may take time and a lot of faith and effort on your part but if you can start working on it... its like the Sycamine tree and its roots - you may have to dig down to sort them out and even turn over that soil a few times to make sure you got it all out... but if you can work on it you will find that it heals... something wonderful grows in its place.
The Un-offendable man...Its possible - just possible that you will learn to deal with these sort of issues early in life so that you end up becoming some sort of abnormal person that goes through life without getting hurt or upset by anyone. Yet it is very unlikely that even if that is your intention that you would succeed for long. People have a knack to rub anyone the wrong way given enough time. But in reflex if you train yourself you will be able to forgive people and move on...
The Pompous man... You have been probably imagining this person in your head the whole time... going around to every person that has ever even looked at him the wrong way and walking up to them - getting right in their face and saying "I forgive you for hurting me and being offensive" walking away while the other person is confused and a little angry. The act of forgiveness is not a blanket license to become Mr. Super Christian in everyones face and going over and telling people that so and so hurt you but you forgive them... then going to the next person and telling them the same thing... So and So hurt me but I forgive them.
That is not forgiveness that is spreading hurt and offense under the guise of forgiveness. IF YOU ARE A TRUE CHRISTIAN YOU WOULD NEVER EVEN MENTION TO ANOTHER ABOUT THE HURT AND OFFENSE SOMEONE CAUSED YOU IF YOU TRULY FORGIVE THEM. Sorry for shouting but seriously. Stop the pious Christian act and using forgiveness as a cover story for running around to everyone and vomiting on them your bile.
Proverbs 17:9 (King James Version)
9He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
Proverbs 17:9 (Amplified Bible)
9He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.
This is YOUR subject covered here... this is your example and help if you just pay attention.
To COVER a transgression is a Godly trait. to COVER IT.... COVER. It means to hide it - not to tell anyone else - work on it forgive it and forget it. COVER IT.
An offense or hurt right or wrong is a matter FIRST between you and God. You have to deal with it to even keep your relationship with God right. Secondly between you and the person that hurt you right or wrong. Go to them and talk to them if you so desire and need to (IF YOU DON'T NEED TO GO TO THEM EVEN BETTER) forgiveness can be done long distances and great gaps of time apart from the issues and people involved... if its real forgiveness.
Thirdly between you and your heart... forgive this person deep down so much that the next time you see them your more likely to bless them with a gift - a car - money - because you love them in your heart so much that you even want to show your outward man that you truly forgave them.
Lastly - in your mind forgive them. Do your best to forget even what was the cause or slight that made the offense happen in the first place. Cast Your Cares Upon the Lord. Cast away your thoughts of the hurt and offense and bitterness and think on good things about the person - think on ways you can move passed everything. Then and only then can you move on with your relationship with God and others.
"Some things are unforgivable." Really?!? Seriously?!!?
Jesus bore every sickness and sin on His body for your sake and you can't forgive someone for forgetting to say hello to you? Or forgetting to give you a card? You honestly can't get passed something someone said to you in love that you took for judgment against you?
Grow up.
If God who forgave the ultimate amount of offenses and transgressions against anyone EVER... can forgive us of our sins how much more so should we forgive others that hurt us... AND MEAN IT!!!
You baby. You infant. You simple minded fool. How arrogant are you to not be able to forgive any transgression against you by anyone else ever??
There are people in modern day ministry that were raped, molested, sold into prostitution, sold into slavery, and worse... that forgave people that hurt them and have the testimony of a fruitful life of serving God to back it up. They may share briefly where they came from but they use that to help others and bring them to the saving knowledge of God and His forgiveness. They do not go around repeatedly rehashing the crime or offense against them and their life like a broken record even in the guise of forgiving the people involved.
Worse yet - there are people that are so called christians that did these sort of things while wearing the name of a religion while they did unspeakable things to others. Do not hear me the wrong way. I wish that those sort of people were rounded up and burned alive on public display. Yet for you and your own growth and to get passed the injury you have to forgive them.
You did hear about the tribe of cannibals that ATE the christian missionary - then generations later they contacted the family of the missionary and asked for forgiveness from them because they wanted to move forward passed the major hurt they caused them.
If you forgive someone that hurt you - and they may have even hurt you on purpose. It gives you the grace to move on and not look back while they remain bitter and spiteful.
Now. I am talking to you now. You there reading this page by accident but curiosity took over and you can even feel the offense and hurt justified or not that someone else caused you. You do not own that hurt. Its not yours. It belongs to Jesus. You have to let it go and let God start dealing with you on how to move passed it.
Jesus bore our sickness and disease and was bruised for our transgressions... and by His stripes we are healed. That price was paid not only for our price we owed God - but one another. We were already sinners, what is a transgression? A hurt or offense caused by someone you trust. They transgressed passed a line. They crossed a boundary.
A sinner is on the unforgivable side already - yet God forgave them. The transgressions are for the things we do even after getting salvation. Offenses towards God and each other.
Isaiah 53:1Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
2For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
6All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
8He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
9And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
11He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
12Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Let it go. Correct your behavior in the eyes and sight of others if you have used forgiveness as a blanket excuse to slander or spread hurt and offense in the ears of others. Then tell yourself that you want to by faith forgive the hurt done to you and grow up... move on. Get on with the things you have to do in life.
Then and only then will you be able to fulfill all that is in your lifetime to achieve.
The test may come suddenly one day when you run into that person. Or someone mentions that name or even the event. And if you can look them in the eye and say " I handled that situation all wrong. What happened hurt me because I took it the wrong way and I abused that hurt and spread it to others. Forgive me for what I did." Or better yet. If you can face them and smile with a genuine smile and shake their hand and not for a second remember even what it was that you were ever upset about because you dealt with it years ago then you can see now that you did forgive them honestly and truly.
If not...
Some young eager christian moving to a new country to do mission work will meet you on the train, chat and share about the amazing things God is doing in the world... and if they mention the place of hurt and bitterness in innocence to you... and you vomit and spew offense and anger all over him about it... its a good sign that you did not forgive. Perhaps then you need to start again with the first post.
To a point this post is not about anything specific or anyone specific. But I felt that I needed to write this out just in case someone somewhere may happen upon it and need this issue dealt with to some degree.
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