Role Models, Mentors, Someone to look up to...
These are all needed in the times of growth and change in our life.
And can I say this as well... we should never stop growing and changing.
As part of our lifestyle and goal in life - the number one thing is that we should always have someone to look up to.
Now I am NOT referring to Idols or Film Stars or Pop Music Artists.
Real people need real people to look up to.
The people around you should see the goals and ideals that you have reflected from or based off the person you look up to. However many times in the shallow world we live in - we see more and more young people choosing fame over ideals. Fame will get you in the spotlight - ideals will keep you there. Now I am not suggesting that no-one famous qualifies as a role model. Certainly in the PR limelight Hollywood media we live in - people are adopting kids left and right and sending food over seas that they would never eat themselves - this does not discount them - nor qualify them either in my opinion.
Role models are people like teachers - who know that several kids in the class they teach probably have wished them dead many times over - yet still get up in the morning to try to influence more young minds every year.
The person that became a fireman because they wished one day to be a hero and save lives.
Real World Examples -
There was a couple at the turn of the century (1890's) that moved over seas and lived for some time in Tibet before moving to China. They were just settling in and working to start a school in the area when they noticed a need in the area.
They watched each and every morning as children were left to fend for themselves in the streets - whole groups of siblings were left by their parents and brothers and sisters had to care for the younger ones.
This couple had little themselves and thought it best still to do something rather than nothing. They brought the kids of the street everyday and never refused a single child... they started the first orphanage in the region.
They did their best every day to educate - feed - and encourage these kids - and they had such an impact on them that every boy and girl were changed by their love.
In the early 1900's when Communism was rolling across China everyone was pushing them to leave after hearing that the new regime was killing every foreigner they found.
This couple did not want to leave. Yet the did at the urging of their extended family.
People like that are selfless and seemingly out of place in todays world.
A modern reference to such acts would be the movie "The Children of Huang Shi" - Rent it if you can find it. Awesome movie. This movie is the TRUE story of a reporter that gets caught in the middle of the Japan China War and fall in the middle of an orphanage and become so attached to these kids that he is remembered by them even today for the help and effort he made to get them to safety.
I say all of that to say this... Are you someone that others can look up to?
All of us are flawed and fail and miss it from time to time...
Can your children look up to you as a role model, can your family and friends?
We don't all have to rush off to become the father to the fatherless or mother to the hungry in some far of lands.
But where we are... right now, realise that we can affect and influence and lead others in so many positive ways if we just tried.
Finally, who is your role model?
Is it your father, or your mother? A teacher or a close friend?
Who is your example and your goal - whose shoes do you wish you could fill... is it a person that is helping others or helped many? Perhaps they just helped you to get from one day to the next once upon a time.
And now yes here is the part you knew was coming all along... my role model.
Jesus.
In His humanity - He lead thousands to look beyond the persicution and occupation by the Romans and see beyond themselves and to help others around Him. He encouraged growth and change in people on a personal basis and taught that even though you can never be good enough to fulfill the law of their forefathers - if you loved one another enough and loved God enough - then that makes up the difference when you miss it.
He gave hope to thousands that heard Him speak but only a few hundred followed His request to gather and pray when He left them.
Roman Centurions, Jewish Leaders and the Rich and Famous of His day flocked to Him to know of this new way that was taught. His message was at its simplest - Love God and Love your fellow man. He was the example of the way any man should live - selfless and encouraging of those around you. He was God's sign post for the definition of a Role Model.
In His deity - He took our place and bore our mistakes so we don't have to.
I want to encourage you today... even if just in a small way... consider your role model. If you obtain all of what they obtained would it be enough? If you really did fill their shoes and lived their life would you be happy?
Hell is other people.
Jean-Paul Sartre
(A more liberal quote - linked to him) Is Hell is eternity locked in a room with your friends.
What a shock it is to some people to spend their life working toward a goal - only to find it hollow and empty and not enough.
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
I would hazzard a guess that few people are entirely satisfied with the way things are in their day to day routine - and the trick they use like most people to stay happy - is to use distractions to keep the thoughts at bay.
Why not try a higher goal and a larger target.
Just a thought.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Keeping your heart right
No this is not a medical post although it should have many health benefits if you follow the suggestions.
I want to talk to you today just a bit about the real YOU. The one that in the midst of the storms of life and circumstances has to make the choices and decide which way to go in different situations. The You that chooses to react in emotions and feelings, or intellect and reason. The Inner person that feels deep down inside that given the chance they would and could make a difference in the world... Thats the You I want to talk to and about today.
Inside every person is a desire to do good and be well liked by others around them... if this is not visibly apparent due to negative behavior or irrational reactions - then finding it difficult to achieve positive feedback - the inner person will react and act out in an effort to gain negative attention and feedback - so long as interaction with others is the key result.
This motivation for good or bad is very visible in criminals who justify their behavior as a way to cope and settle into the world they made themselves by stealing in order to pay for the things in life.... good or bad.
Often this is perceived as a cry for help and a need to fit in or belong somehow in the world today. Yet I speak not of the negative aspects in this post - but the positive ones.
In your average everyday life you interact with a multitude of people and there is an inbuilt need for you to achieve a balance in your world with Work, Stress, Family, Friends, Politics, and so forth.
In those chance meetings with others they often take away from them a first impression.
According to a study by the University of Illinois first impressions happen in about 20 seconds of first meeting someone... the first impression that a majority of people take away from them are based on
55% Appearance and Body Language
38% Tone of Voice
7% What You Say
This is actually a troubling statistic - in looking at the negative side of things serial killers tend to be clean cut, trust-worthy people that do not alarm anyone internally in the first impression.
Only 45% of what people judge you on is really YOU. The rest is just Looking the Part? You can get anywhere in life then 55 percent of the time because you Look the part... and people will like you no matter what.
Well politics aside for a moment, lets talk about the issues on my mind at the moment that I wanted to share with you.
Family
Friends
Work
Social
General
In each of these areas we have a certain level of interaction - or inaction as the case may be.
Work tells us that WORK is most important.
Family tells us that Family is the most important
Friends wrestle for your attention from both
Certain social obligations dictate to us that we have to attend to some things over others.
And General is all those smaller things that seem to crop up and steal our time patience and money.
When you interact with each of these - the impression that people have of you is a lasting one. If you are a Christian and you are having a bad day and yell at the cashier at the bank because of some error on your account... walk away and the first thing the person next to them asks will usually be - isn't that a deacon at that church?
Or others in an effort to make their lifestyle and choices in life acceptable to all around them - cuss at others or even physically abuse those that don't see things their way (Insert any random political activist group name here) (Christians "so called" included.)
How I grow tired of seeing signs and banners spouting hate in the name of God (any religion) when its them judging not God.
In Christianity - I have a nagging doubt in my mind all the time fearing that someone will make a snap judgement on the first impression when they meet me on the street for the first time and miss what I am trying to offer them.
I don't like wearing a suit and tie when talking to people about God - for fear I look like some TV evangelist or a LDS mormon or something. Yet they have no fear of looking like me - and in fact love the clean cut image to help that (first impression) so they seem more trust worthy.
Anyway - I wandered there for a moment - sorry.
In these situations - what they don't tell you in many statistics is that second and third impressions have a better impact than the first one.
Growth and education on a personal level will tell the upset Christian at the bank to go back after a chance to rethink things and apologize to the teller, explain your frustration but make sure that she knows that you were in the wrong.
In your work and your daily life you can make a difference in every situation by being the cool level headed one that takes time to make sure the people around you know you a person they can turn to if they need.
Tell your family you love them in deed and not just words. Spending time and money on them are just some of the obvious ways this can be done.
In every situation - even in your comfort zones of life - keep your eyes open to the way others look at you and perceive you and do your best to change that impression in positive ways. Helping others and caring for them enough to listen (in a pay-it-forward kind of way) (Didn't like the movie by the way) ...
Without a doubt a little effort in this direction goes a long way...
However as with anything in life you will have setbacks and knock downs in this pursuit. Keep your heart right and your motivations pure and open and you will make progress and begin to change yourself - others around you - and will help make the world a better place.
The general attitude of the world however is not like this at all - it may have been once but that has long since changed.
The Golden Rule - as was drilled into us as school kids - Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
This is no longer taught... leaving moral growth for kids up to their parents.
For the most part - the rules found in the 10 commandments would be seen by most people to be very good ways to live by. Yet we still have to pass laws to keep people from getting away with murder, lying, cheating, stealing, hate and so on...
It was the goal by many groups to get that kind of teaching out of schools and court rooms. To me its a bit like the modern currency of any nation being backed up by nothing but a promise - instead of Gold or Silver as it used to be.
So we have laws against certain immoral things - but no teaching to our young about morality. As part of the way I keep my heart right in most situations (its a struggle to be sure)
I believe basic - honest - decency, chivalry, caring for your neighbor and the stranger, helping those in need, politeness and kindness to those you know and those you don't. All of that was taught to me by my father LONG before I became a Christian.
The foundation of any upbringing should be such in my opinion.
If you can manage to take all this to heart and work to be the best person you can be - I feel we can work person by person to change the world from the bitter greedy way it is today... back to a world we all would enjoy... regardless of race, creed, religion and so on.
Keep your heart right - this world wants to make you into it's image. I encourage you to find a better role model and keep working on shaping your life like that.
I want to talk to you today just a bit about the real YOU. The one that in the midst of the storms of life and circumstances has to make the choices and decide which way to go in different situations. The You that chooses to react in emotions and feelings, or intellect and reason. The Inner person that feels deep down inside that given the chance they would and could make a difference in the world... Thats the You I want to talk to and about today.
Inside every person is a desire to do good and be well liked by others around them... if this is not visibly apparent due to negative behavior or irrational reactions - then finding it difficult to achieve positive feedback - the inner person will react and act out in an effort to gain negative attention and feedback - so long as interaction with others is the key result.
This motivation for good or bad is very visible in criminals who justify their behavior as a way to cope and settle into the world they made themselves by stealing in order to pay for the things in life.... good or bad.
Often this is perceived as a cry for help and a need to fit in or belong somehow in the world today. Yet I speak not of the negative aspects in this post - but the positive ones.
In your average everyday life you interact with a multitude of people and there is an inbuilt need for you to achieve a balance in your world with Work, Stress, Family, Friends, Politics, and so forth.
In those chance meetings with others they often take away from them a first impression.
According to a study by the University of Illinois first impressions happen in about 20 seconds of first meeting someone... the first impression that a majority of people take away from them are based on
55% Appearance and Body Language
38% Tone of Voice
7% What You Say
This is actually a troubling statistic - in looking at the negative side of things serial killers tend to be clean cut, trust-worthy people that do not alarm anyone internally in the first impression.
Only 45% of what people judge you on is really YOU. The rest is just Looking the Part? You can get anywhere in life then 55 percent of the time because you Look the part... and people will like you no matter what.
Well politics aside for a moment, lets talk about the issues on my mind at the moment that I wanted to share with you.
Family
Friends
Work
Social
General
In each of these areas we have a certain level of interaction - or inaction as the case may be.
Work tells us that WORK is most important.
Family tells us that Family is the most important
Friends wrestle for your attention from both
Certain social obligations dictate to us that we have to attend to some things over others.
And General is all those smaller things that seem to crop up and steal our time patience and money.
When you interact with each of these - the impression that people have of you is a lasting one. If you are a Christian and you are having a bad day and yell at the cashier at the bank because of some error on your account... walk away and the first thing the person next to them asks will usually be - isn't that a deacon at that church?
Or others in an effort to make their lifestyle and choices in life acceptable to all around them - cuss at others or even physically abuse those that don't see things their way (Insert any random political activist group name here) (Christians "so called" included.)
How I grow tired of seeing signs and banners spouting hate in the name of God (any religion) when its them judging not God.
In Christianity - I have a nagging doubt in my mind all the time fearing that someone will make a snap judgement on the first impression when they meet me on the street for the first time and miss what I am trying to offer them.
I don't like wearing a suit and tie when talking to people about God - for fear I look like some TV evangelist or a LDS mormon or something. Yet they have no fear of looking like me - and in fact love the clean cut image to help that (first impression) so they seem more trust worthy.
Anyway - I wandered there for a moment - sorry.
In these situations - what they don't tell you in many statistics is that second and third impressions have a better impact than the first one.
Growth and education on a personal level will tell the upset Christian at the bank to go back after a chance to rethink things and apologize to the teller, explain your frustration but make sure that she knows that you were in the wrong.
In your work and your daily life you can make a difference in every situation by being the cool level headed one that takes time to make sure the people around you know you a person they can turn to if they need.
Tell your family you love them in deed and not just words. Spending time and money on them are just some of the obvious ways this can be done.
In every situation - even in your comfort zones of life - keep your eyes open to the way others look at you and perceive you and do your best to change that impression in positive ways. Helping others and caring for them enough to listen (in a pay-it-forward kind of way) (Didn't like the movie by the way) ...
Without a doubt a little effort in this direction goes a long way...
However as with anything in life you will have setbacks and knock downs in this pursuit. Keep your heart right and your motivations pure and open and you will make progress and begin to change yourself - others around you - and will help make the world a better place.
The general attitude of the world however is not like this at all - it may have been once but that has long since changed.
The Golden Rule - as was drilled into us as school kids - Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
This is no longer taught... leaving moral growth for kids up to their parents.
For the most part - the rules found in the 10 commandments would be seen by most people to be very good ways to live by. Yet we still have to pass laws to keep people from getting away with murder, lying, cheating, stealing, hate and so on...
It was the goal by many groups to get that kind of teaching out of schools and court rooms. To me its a bit like the modern currency of any nation being backed up by nothing but a promise - instead of Gold or Silver as it used to be.
So we have laws against certain immoral things - but no teaching to our young about morality. As part of the way I keep my heart right in most situations (its a struggle to be sure)
I believe basic - honest - decency, chivalry, caring for your neighbor and the stranger, helping those in need, politeness and kindness to those you know and those you don't. All of that was taught to me by my father LONG before I became a Christian.
The foundation of any upbringing should be such in my opinion.
If you can manage to take all this to heart and work to be the best person you can be - I feel we can work person by person to change the world from the bitter greedy way it is today... back to a world we all would enjoy... regardless of race, creed, religion and so on.
Keep your heart right - this world wants to make you into it's image. I encourage you to find a better role model and keep working on shaping your life like that.
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