No this is not a medical post although it should have many health benefits if you follow the suggestions.
I want to talk to you today just a bit about the real YOU. The one that in the midst of the storms of life and circumstances has to make the choices and decide which way to go in different situations. The You that chooses to react in emotions and feelings, or intellect and reason. The Inner person that feels deep down inside that given the chance they would and could make a difference in the world... Thats the You I want to talk to and about today.
Inside every person is a desire to do good and be well liked by others around them... if this is not visibly apparent due to negative behavior or irrational reactions - then finding it difficult to achieve positive feedback - the inner person will react and act out in an effort to gain negative attention and feedback - so long as interaction with others is the key result.
This motivation for good or bad is very visible in criminals who justify their behavior as a way to cope and settle into the world they made themselves by stealing in order to pay for the things in life.... good or bad.
Often this is perceived as a cry for help and a need to fit in or belong somehow in the world today. Yet I speak not of the negative aspects in this post - but the positive ones.
In your average everyday life you interact with a multitude of people and there is an inbuilt need for you to achieve a balance in your world with Work, Stress, Family, Friends, Politics, and so forth.
In those chance meetings with others they often take away from them a first impression.
According to a study by the University of Illinois first impressions happen in about 20 seconds of first meeting someone... the first impression that a majority of people take away from them are based on
55% Appearance and Body Language
38% Tone of Voice
7% What You Say
This is actually a troubling statistic - in looking at the negative side of things serial killers tend to be clean cut, trust-worthy people that do not alarm anyone internally in the first impression.
Only 45% of what people judge you on is really YOU. The rest is just Looking the Part? You can get anywhere in life then 55 percent of the time because you Look the part... and people will like you no matter what.
Well politics aside for a moment, lets talk about the issues on my mind at the moment that I wanted to share with you.
Family
Friends
Work
Social
General
In each of these areas we have a certain level of interaction - or inaction as the case may be.
Work tells us that WORK is most important.
Family tells us that Family is the most important
Friends wrestle for your attention from both
Certain social obligations dictate to us that we have to attend to some things over others.
And General is all those smaller things that seem to crop up and steal our time patience and money.
When you interact with each of these - the impression that people have of you is a lasting one. If you are a Christian and you are having a bad day and yell at the cashier at the bank because of some error on your account... walk away and the first thing the person next to them asks will usually be - isn't that a deacon at that church?
Or others in an effort to make their lifestyle and choices in life acceptable to all around them - cuss at others or even physically abuse those that don't see things their way (Insert any random political activist group name here) (Christians "so called" included.)
How I grow tired of seeing signs and banners spouting hate in the name of God (any religion) when its them judging not God.
In Christianity - I have a nagging doubt in my mind all the time fearing that someone will make a snap judgement on the first impression when they meet me on the street for the first time and miss what I am trying to offer them.
I don't like wearing a suit and tie when talking to people about God - for fear I look like some TV evangelist or a LDS mormon or something. Yet they have no fear of looking like me - and in fact love the clean cut image to help that (first impression) so they seem more trust worthy.
Anyway - I wandered there for a moment - sorry.
In these situations - what they don't tell you in many statistics is that second and third impressions have a better impact than the first one.
Growth and education on a personal level will tell the upset Christian at the bank to go back after a chance to rethink things and apologize to the teller, explain your frustration but make sure that she knows that you were in the wrong.
In your work and your daily life you can make a difference in every situation by being the cool level headed one that takes time to make sure the people around you know you a person they can turn to if they need.
Tell your family you love them in deed and not just words. Spending time and money on them are just some of the obvious ways this can be done.
In every situation - even in your comfort zones of life - keep your eyes open to the way others look at you and perceive you and do your best to change that impression in positive ways. Helping others and caring for them enough to listen (in a pay-it-forward kind of way) (Didn't like the movie by the way) ...
Without a doubt a little effort in this direction goes a long way...
However as with anything in life you will have setbacks and knock downs in this pursuit. Keep your heart right and your motivations pure and open and you will make progress and begin to change yourself - others around you - and will help make the world a better place.
The general attitude of the world however is not like this at all - it may have been once but that has long since changed.
The Golden Rule - as was drilled into us as school kids - Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
This is no longer taught... leaving moral growth for kids up to their parents.
For the most part - the rules found in the 10 commandments would be seen by most people to be very good ways to live by. Yet we still have to pass laws to keep people from getting away with murder, lying, cheating, stealing, hate and so on...
It was the goal by many groups to get that kind of teaching out of schools and court rooms. To me its a bit like the modern currency of any nation being backed up by nothing but a promise - instead of Gold or Silver as it used to be.
So we have laws against certain immoral things - but no teaching to our young about morality. As part of the way I keep my heart right in most situations (its a struggle to be sure)
I believe basic - honest - decency, chivalry, caring for your neighbor and the stranger, helping those in need, politeness and kindness to those you know and those you don't. All of that was taught to me by my father LONG before I became a Christian.
The foundation of any upbringing should be such in my opinion.
If you can manage to take all this to heart and work to be the best person you can be - I feel we can work person by person to change the world from the bitter greedy way it is today... back to a world we all would enjoy... regardless of race, creed, religion and so on.
Keep your heart right - this world wants to make you into it's image. I encourage you to find a better role model and keep working on shaping your life like that.
